Darling Cerna is the Administrative Assistant to College Counseling for Princeton Day School. She graduated Princeton Day School in 2013. As a DACA student, she then went off to Muhlenberg College to earn her degree in Public Health & French. When she was 5 years old, Cerna and her parents migrated to the United States with the hopes of seeking better job opportunities.
In Guatemala, Cerna’s parents were teachers. Her mother was a traditional teacher whereas her father engaged his students with his electrical teachings. Unfortunately, Guatemala did not guarantee a stable income. Due to lack of options, her parents applied for a Visa to visit her mother’s step brothers in the United States.This lengthy process requires letters from relatives, letters from schools, bank account statements, and other documents. They also had to prove that they weren’t going to overstay their Visa, which was their intention. At first, they did not qualify because they did not have enough money. So, they waited a few months to reapply after receiving financial help from relatives. Sometimes, families are separated because they’re not all guaranteed a Visa. Fortunately, Cerna had the opportunity to go to the United States with her parents, leaving behind their home, her grandparents, and other family members.
The Journey
What was your parents’ decision to migrate?
“For me, I was only five. But, my parents decided to come here because they weren’t making enough money. Both of my parents were teachers, My mom was a general teacher who taught everything from middle school. My dad taught electrical engineering. Even with that, it wasn’t enough. I kind of just tagged along.”
What were your parents’ hope for a new life in the United States?
“They wanted a more stable income and salaries. Even today, when we talk to families from Guatemala, we realize that the salaries haven’t changed. Years have gone by and things have gotten more expensive. So I think that my family knew that was coming and they didn’t want to be stuck in that tough situation as I grew up because they wanted me to have things that they didn’t have.”
Why did they choose to come to the United States instead of somewhere else?
“My mom had two step brothers who were already here. In Guatemala, you hear the U.S.be this country of so many opportunities that it was in their mind. So, when my parents applied for a Visa, they needed a letter from someone in the U.S...because we had to prove that we weren’t going to stay. We never told anyone that we were coming to stay, but we were. My dad also had a cousin here.”
Were there any hardships with acquiring the Visa?
“Well, my parents tried twice. They applied once and were told “no”. They had to have a letter from the person sponsoring them, bank account statements, letter from their jobs, and letters from my school. But, the first time, they didn’t have enough saved in their bank account, which comes from the idea that they weren’t making enough. So, my dad’s cousin sent him some money to his bank account. We waited a few months and then we tried again. But we were lucky that all three of us got our Visas because others aren’t as lucky.”
Were there any other options for you?
“There was no other option. It was only the U.S.”
Who did you leave behind?
“Everybody else. I have never met my mom’s step brothers or my dad’s cousin. We left behind my grandparents. We actually came to the U.S to live with my mom’s father in Chicago...I’m a DACA student, so I cannot visit Guatemala.”
What was the most difficult part of leaving/coming?
“The most difficult part was being here. Living here was hard because I couldn’t grasp the reality of it. I remember crying in the airplane, leaving behind my grandmother. I didn’t understand what it fully meant. The hardest part was acclimating to the United States. We came in December, close to Christmas and it was snowing. It was such a big change from Christmas in Guatemala...it was such a different environment. It’s a busy type of life.”
What was the journey to the United States like?
“It felt long. My parents knew deep down that they weren’t going to go back to Guatemala. For me, I cried the whole time. It just felt long and weird because I didn’t understand why I was leaving everyone behind. We also left our dog behind, which is why I was crying. It was confusing and sad.”
What was it like when you first arrived?
“Everything was dull and boring. I got really close with my grandpa really quickly because I was the first granddaughter at the time. I got along so well with my grandparents, but I remember crying and getting upset because I hated it there in the U.S. And I look back and realize that I must have hurt my grandpa’s feelings because it wasn’t his fault. I had to be in this tiny apartment all the time and I joined school late.”
What most surprised you?
“In February, we came to New Jersey to be with my mom’s stepbrother. I was surprised on how reserved people were. At school, I felt like there were teachers who tried to make me feel included and other teachers didn’t care, despite me not knowing English. In Guatemala, my teachers were so supportive of everything. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing because I felt so left out due to the language and lack of being able to communicate. It made it harder to make those connections with people.”
What did you miss most about Guatemala?
“My family and being able to be together. The way of living was different. My parents would work from Monday to Friday in Guatemala. We would be together on the weekends. Here, they always had to work because they didn’t have a choice and had to start from the bottom... In Chicago, they couldn’t find stable jobs and couldn't work all the time. My mother’s step brothers were able to find a job for my mom and dad.”
Who was the most helpful with getting you settled?
“I would say my grandfather and my mom’s step brothers. It was helpful because we had someone to go to. But, it felt like we were on our own.”
Where did you find strength during these difficult times?
“Seeings my parents and seeing how hard they were trying to stay strong. It made me realize that I had to do that too. Once I realized what was happening, I knew I had to mask how upset I was because it wasn’t going to help.”
How did immigrating changed you?
“If I hadn’t gone through this, I think I wouldn’t be as mature. That experience makes you reflect on your life. My maturity went up and responsibilities because so much happened. Within a year, Valerie was born and I was 6 years old. I took care of her every single weekend at a young age. That much responsibility at a young age builds character and you don’t want to depend on anyone else.”
What has been your greatest sources of joy?
“When I graduated Princeton Day School and Muhlenberg College. Those were the moments when my parents felt that all their efforts were worth it.”
How is your family doing after migrating?
“I think they’re okay. They now assume that this is reality. My mom said that the first five years were really tough. But, they have been at the same job for 18 years and they’re used to it now. We still don’t have weekends together, but it’s a common thing for us. And it’s not something they’re bitter about as they have come terms with it and enjoy the moments that they do have together...we know things could be worse if we were in Guatemala.
Have there been times when you have felt unwelcomed as an immigrant?
“All the time. I was welcomed in friend groups in schools because I didn’t speak English really well. In middle school, I had a moment when a teacher commented on how I looked like a Native American because of my braids. That type of comment wouldn’t have been made if I was a white a person wearing braids. When I go to places with my parents, I feel like we’re treated differently because of our skin tone and broken English.”
How did your life changed once you received DACA?
“DACA happened in 2012, which was around my senior year of high school. Before that, I couldn’t work and I didn’t have a legal status. We had a 10 year Visa that expired in 2010. So for those two years, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t take my permit test, couldn’t get my license, which was weird when all my friends were getting their licenses.My friends had summer job and I couldn’t do that…so I worked at summer camp for Princeton Day School for community service hours. Once I received DACA, I got my driver’s permit and I finally got my license during my freshman year of college. And I was working. [DACA] made life better because I felt that I could do things that I should’ve been able to do in the beginning. It gave me the sense that I was acknowledged and in case anything happened..it gave me peace.”
How might losing DACA affect your life?
“I try not to think about it a lot, but it is something in the back of my mind. I go about my day, but its hard because you put on the tv and [Donald Trump] is always there… I hope its one of those things that people notice. The system is broken and everyone knows it… How can we fix it? It’s such a broad question, but I think it would be great if people focused on DACA people because its not easy to get approved for DACA due to all the background checks. Starting off with all the people with DACA would be a good start because you know that these people aren’t drug dealers, rapists, or anything you hear on the news.”
What do you think about the wall proposed by the Trump Administration?
“It’s stupid. I don’t know a nice educated way to put it… It’s stupid to think that putting this wall up would stop people from getting there. You look at what’s going on in other countries—war, starvation, poverty, no water, no food. So, do you think a wall will stop people from coming? They’re going to find a way even if its not through the wall because these people and their children want to survive. We can invest the money for much better use. For example, detention centers. Why can’t we invest more money in that so that young boys & girls aren’t dying in detention centers. Donald Trump is glorifying this materialistic thing that wouldn’t work…We’re putting too much of our money and efforts for this wall.”
What do you think about the family separation policy enacted by the Trump Administration?
“That’s a hard one…we shouldn’t be separating families. I think it is strategic and smart of them because they realize that they’re debilitating immigrants. Family is at the core of these immigrant’s existence and staying together as a family is their priority. So, separating them is so weakening for them. Can you imagine yourself as a mother and being separated from your kid or being a little kid and being separated from your mother. They’re making everything new for you, making you feel isolated and not welcomed. That stands against everything that the United States stood for the past few years…It’s inhumane and goes against everything humanity stands for and I don’t understand how people agree with it.”
How do you feel about the current immigration court scandal?
“It goes back to the idea of taking advantage of people who are vulnerable. I believe that every single hospital, law firm, school, everywhere should have people who speak Spanish… It is their right to be able to know 100% what they’re being told and what are in their documents. In my previous job, I was working at HR and the majority of my job consisted of translating documents, letting [Spanish speakers] know their benefits, and so many things they were scared of because they didn’t know how it worked. They’re afraid because they don’t know what they’re doing. People are in the dark because they are afraid to reach for help.”
How do you feel about the stereotypes constantly being made about immigrants through national conversation?
“It’s infuriating. I feel my blood boiling in my body. At the same time, I feel bad for people who say that because I know that they’re not educated the way I am. It’s not a way of making me feel superior than them. It’s just the truth. I think that if people educated themselves and realized that people who want to go to college, but cant, will use federal aid and cannot get merit scholarships because the system is against them. You’re generalizing them as rapists, thieves, criminals. You can call them whatever they want. But, at the end of the day, they’re just a student who want to get an education and wants to do something to do good in life.”
Do you have a story about someone who was deported?
“Yes, I actually have an aunt who was deported a few years ago. And my grandfather was very close to being deported. My aunt has two daughters and it blows my mind that someone who has been here for long…she was told that maybe when my cousins turn 21 they could somehow waive for her. But, again, it deals with the separation of families whether its at the border..it all comes down to the same thing. They want to weaken us and separate us because they know that when we’re together, we are stronger.”
Was there a time when your family feared deportation?
“There was a time when our Visa expired and my parents were concerned. It’s pretty much the reason why they stayed at the same job for 18 years because they can’t go anywhere else. They’re going to start asking for their documentations and they don’t have it. We live in Trenton and it happens all the time. It happened to my aunt. She was at work when they started asking for everything. So, my parents worried that it would happen at their job…For now, they’re okay, but they still worry.”
What is the thing you’re proudest of so far and why?
“When I graduated college, I was very proud because I was the first one of my family to go to college and I know that my parents were very proud. It seemed like a dream because DACA was not a well known thing when I applied to college. My college counselor was awestruck with my situation. I couldn’t get federal aid. I could only get merit scholarship…it just seemed as if college was such a stretch…When I graduated college, it felt as if all that waiting and all that anxiety was worth it.”
What are your hopes for the future?
“Hopefully, people start with DACA students. If it were up to me, I would much rather get my parents’ situation fixed than mine because I have something. My parents don’t have anything. I realize for the government, it is much harder to trust adults than DACA students. So, if we could start with DACA students and find a way to get citizenship for them, then we could start to look at parents of DACA students because I’m pretty sure they haven’t done anything wrong. They only came here, found a job that no other American would do, and want to find a way to fit in this society. I hope DACA students understand the hardships that their parents went through…These kids need to know that they’re going to be the key for the future.”
“I hope to start a family soon. For the most part, my biggest hope his to keep being here and making sure that my family is okay. My goal is to be there and be a support system whether it means giving them money or being there during tough times.”
What do you think would get in the way of those dreams?
“The system and not knowing what everyday brings. With my parents legal status, I don't know what’s going to happen with that. I thought about the scenario of being without my parents…I don’t know what I would do being on my own with my sister."
What do you think help you achieve your dreams?
“Not thinking about what could happen. I focus on work, school, and everything. My parents are religious. They’re catholic. I’m not as religious, but in the back of my mind, I use my religion as a way to know that I will be okay. When things go wrong, I find myself asking God, ‘Why did this happen?’. I always pray to God that it will be okay, but it creates a strength in you that people don't notice or acknowledge. But, it helps stay positive.”
What advice would you give to someone that would want to come to the United States?
“I have a lot of aunts and uncles who want to come here, but their only option is to come illegally. It’s so hard to think about because I know that my family and I will support them. I know in the end of the day, it is going to be fine. But, it’s a long journey. Once you come here, you realize your journey comes years after migrating and not being in your native country. I’ve had family friends who have been here for years, but left because they didn’t fit in and they have left… They should know how difficult it will be.”
What did you wish you knew before immigrating?
“You come in blindsided, no matter how much you prepare someone. I think age has a lot to do with it. I was very young. If you're a teenager, it is a crucial stage to come in because it’s a hard age. They’re still figuring things out. Coming into this type of environment is incredibly hard and they should stay true to themselves. I’ve seen so many people change. I’ve seen groups of latino men and women support Trump. It feels as if they’re stabbing you in the back. We’re supposed to stay together and support one another. We shouldn't be tearing each other down. Stay true to themselves, their family, and their roots. So many kids are embarrassed of their parents who don't speak English. They’re embarrassed to say that their mom is a waitress or their mom clean houses. There isn't anything to be ashamed of… All my friends had parents who were doctors and lawyers and have really great professions. And here I was, not really sure on what to say when they asked me what my parents did. It’s so easy to just lie or not want to tell them what they really do. It’s just important to stay true to yourself because that is how your story is going to be heard. It’s the only way to understand the sacrifices that our parents have done.”
What do you wish more people knew about immigrants?
“I wish that they would look at the statistics of where these people are working and living. I like to think that my parents are here because they didn't like where they were living or their low salary and sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. I find myself in the same situation. We are living in Trenton, a place that most people would not want to live in. And they're making very little money, which is the same thing that happened in Guatemala. People should learn that immigrants are here for a better life and that doesn't mean that they’ll automatically get to it. They cannot skip those 5 steps. Some people are barely making it out here, but even that is better than what is happening in their country. I wish they would realize that and not say that immigrants are taking their jobs or these opportunities from citizens because there’s a system in place that makes sure that doesn't happen. If you’re lucky, you break it. But, it doesn't always happen. There will be barriers in the way that they cannot jump over. They may jump over one, but there are more.”
Do you believe in the American Dream?
“I did and I don't think I do now. Yes, to an extent. This country has given me so many possibilities and for my parents. I still feel like it is just a dream, not a reality.”
Are you happy?
“Yea. I am.”
Would you go back?
“I would like to go visit, but it wouldn't be a place my parents and I would consider to go back and live. I think you become accustomed to this way of life. We are deprived of a lot things, but we know that here we are able to afford a car, we don't have to worry about stopping at a stop light and getting shot in the head. There’s so much violence in Guatemala. At least here, you have a sense of security and peacefulness. I would definitely go and visit. There’s so much family I haven’t seen. Before more time has gone by or more people are gone, I would like to visit…I want to know more about my own country when I get the chance.”
Is there anything you would like to add that hasn’t been asked?
ys hard to compete with people. I always felt like I had to prove myself most, in high school, in college. I had to work twice as hard. I couldn't afford a tutor. I didn't have a car. I didn't even have a license.They may feel like they don’t belong here, but they do. Immigrants always have to work twice as hard.” Even at PDS it's hard to compete with people. I always felt like I had to prove myself most, in high school, in college. I had to work twice as hard. I couldn't afford a tutor. I didn't have a car. I didn't even have a license.They may feel like they don’t belong here, but they do. Immigrants always have to work twice as hard.”
