Oishika Ghosh-Ray is currently a senior at Princeton Day School. When her dad was offered a better job opportunity, she migrated to the United States with her mother at the age of 3 or 4 with the hopes of joining her father, leaving her grandparents and other close relatives. She was introduced to the American Dream at a young age due to the influences of Western culture in India, realizing that she was better off in the U.S. At first, she struggled to communicate with others due to the language barrier, but easily acclimated to the American society. Despite being in the United States, Oishika attempts to connect with her Indian culture by going out of her own way to discover Eastern influences and cultures. Oishika talks about her struggle with her identity as she balances two different cultures, not quite fitting in with either one. However, Oishika enjoys standing out and uses her individuality to find joy.
What what your parents’ decision to migrate to the United States?
“I was three or four. My dad immigrated from the United States because he was offered a better job position. He could’ve gone to London or Switzerland, but he chose America. In India, the American Dream is appealing and it was appealing to hime. My mom and I stayed in India for a couple of months and we decided to join my dad because they didn’t want to split up our family.”
What were their hopes for a new life here?
“Coming from a third world country to a first world country, money played a huge factor. Success and money were closely related. My family wanted to be financially stable. India is a poor country and the United States is a better place to be financially and socially. It has more political advances and more liberal.”
Why did your dad choose the United States in comparison to other countries?
“He could've chosen London or the U.K. In India, theres a lot of influence of Western culture. You read a lot about the American Dream and watch movies about it too. It had a lot to do with the glamorization of the United States. When you are in a third world country, it seems very ideal. We also had family here that were close to us, so that also played a factor.”
Who did you leave behind?
“I have a big family in India. Some of them still live there. We lived with my maternal grandparents, so we had to leave them behind. We left cousins, aunts, and uncles. Pretty much a lot of people. That separation was difficult, especially for my grandparents because they weren’t going anywhere, they were staying in India. Leaving them was difficult.”
What was the most difficult part of leaving?
“My mom spoke English. I didn't speak English at the time. I didn't know English and I had already started school. I had to learn English here. In pre-K or kindergarten, teachers would talk to me and I wouldn’t understand what they were saying. I would sit there and not say anything. They were frustrated and didn’t understand on why I didn't say anything. I basically learned English through watching American television and hearing it around me at school. I wouldn't understand it, but I picked it up really fast. I got the hang of it soon enough.”
What was your journey to this new country like?
“I was really young. I think this would be a more interesting question for my mom. Because I was young, I didn't have an opinion on it. I was sad to leave my grandparents, but I didn't understand what was going on. It wasn't a bad thing. I just knew this is what was happening, I was going to see my dad again, which I was excited about. We came on an airplane and I remember my mom saying I was a nightmare on the airplane. I was kicking this old lady in front of me. For me, it wasn’t a huge moment. I know for my mom it would've been a bigger thing of her because she definitely didn't know American culture and had to get acclimated. She had to navigate this experience differently.”
What was it like when you first arrived?
“For me, I was happy to see my dad again. My parents told me that I was in the airport and I ran through the gates because my dad was waiting on the other side and I trip and fell. But, I remember my dad made Indian food. For my mom, my dad would tell her what was happening. Such as, driving on different sides of the road or how people were like. Having a person in the U.S. to let her know a little more was helpful for her. I was really young, but I remember that they settled in really fast.”
What surprised you the most?
“I noticed that people in America were not as shy. I remember going to school and everyone wanted to be your friend. In India, even at my age, people were more reserve. I went to a catholic school at first in India. Here, I was surprised because girls would ask to play Barbie.”
What do you miss the most about India?
“I miss my grandparents and my two aunts who lived underneath our apartment. They were a part of my daily life. I missed my relatives the most.”
Who was the most helpful with getting you settled?
“For me, migrating wasn't a big thing. As a kid, it;s easier to acclimate to your surroundings compared to a teenager or an adult. People would talk to me, say hi, and ask me to play. The teachers really wanted me to learn English, so they helped me out a lot. The neighbors helped the family members that were here and played a big part by making them feel comfortable in their new surroundings.”
Where did you find strength during difficult times?
“I used to call my relatives a lot. I used to call them every night. They were far away, but knowing that I could call them allowed me to feel better. Being away from them was the worst part about this experience, but talking to them on the phone helped a lot.”
How do you think migrating to the United States has changed you?
“To be honest, I don't think of it anymore. I’m an immigrant and there’s a lot of power to that. It’s been a long time and I’ve definitely have gotten used to where I am now. I was so young and don’t remember much about India. It changed me in a subtle way. It’s in the back of my mind but I don't really think of it. I know my experience was boring compared to other immigrants. But, I still have a story to tell and can add something to this conversation about immigration.”
How has idea migration changed in the United States?
“Everyone is more closed minded now. People’s ideas about the topic has been changing. It has become us vs. them. There’s a clear separation between people here and immigrants. I think people are seeing the differences a lot more than opening up and inviting everyone in…People aren’t as open about it now.”
What have been your biggest challenges?
“There’s definitely a fine line that I walk on, especially when I go to India. Obviously, I’m a lot more American than I am Indian. The cultures are extremely different. So when I grew up on the American culture, I had to leave my Indian culture behind. It’s difficult to relate to my family members compared to the way I used to relate to them. They know I’m different. My aunt told my younger cousins, “Oishika looks very different from us”. Complexion-wise, I look very not that India. I don’t look like my relatives. It’s a big thing they pick up on. So, trying to adjust to the Indian culture again is difficult because I’ve been here for so long.”
What have been your greatest sources of joy?
“Going back to India is always fun for me because I enjoy feeling a little bit different. I don't always fit in with the culture in America and I don't always fit in with the culture in India. I like standing out. Being different and being known for that is something I enjoy. Individuality is really important and helps me stand out. Being part of two worlds and not being part of two worlds is very interesting and I enjoy being a part of that. I also like celebrating Indian festivals here. I like sharing that culture with my friends…It’s really fun to introduce people to things that are important to you and things that make who you are.”
How is your family doing after migration?
“I think we’re doing good. I think my parents can easily float between American culture and Indian culture. They can kind of fit in anywhere. My parents are doing great. I like my life here, but when I go back to India, Im remind of my past and childhood. It’s a place full of memories. It is a time capsule where I get to relive my memories”
Have there been any times when you have felt unwelcome as an immigrant?
“Not for me because I’m not typically what you think of a typical Indian person. I know I’m lucky in that way. But I know my uncle was pushed in a train, was called a terrorist, broke his arm after 9/11. It was the first time when we realized that not everyone was accepting and welcoming.”
What do you think about the wall proposed by the Trump Administration?
“In my opinion, I see absolutely no point in that. It is hypocritical as well. The Native Americans didn't put up walls when European immigrants came here. It’s the same thing. Why would you want to shut somebody out when America has been known to be a place for immigrants. If you want to talk about the wall, I see no point in it. It further emphasize a distinct notion of us vs. them. I don’t think that’s how the world should work. We should be welcoming. We are all part of the Earth. We are all humans. We all live in one place. Borders were made up a long time ago, they aren’t really real. We made them up. It’s not bringing anyone together and creating a divide that isn't beneficial.”
What do you think about the family separation policy enacted by the Trump Administration?
“What a mess…I remember when that happened. I couldn't grasp what was happening. My mom was sad about it, especially my dad. When you look at it, it is just not right. It’s not ethical or moral. How could someone do that? As my dad would say, it seems barbaric. It’s a terrible moment in American society. I think we failed as humans in that aspect. I remember hearing about children being in cages and I was shocked that the government would be able to do that. History repeats itself over and over again as we’ve seen with the Japanese internment camps. It’s a step back from all the progress that has been made.”
How would you feel about the US intervening in Latin American countries and offering foreign services in hopes of decreasing unauthorized immigration to the US?
“It’s definitely complicated. I think the way to deal with it are leaders talking to leaders about it. I don’t know enough about it to give a solid opinion about it. If America was the cause of these problems, I think we should help. But, it begins with talking to these countries and seeing what they want because we cannot go back and undo what we did. We can go forward and work with these countries to see how we can help them.”
Do you know anyone that has been deported?
“Unfortunately, I don’t. I’m sorry”
What are you most proud of as of right now?
“I’m proud of my influences. For my senior project, I’m creating giant pieces and I’ve used influences from pop culture. I see a lot of American icons and I listen to a lot of Western music and books. I think I’m at that point where I’m looking beyond Western cultures and looking into more Eastern culture…It’s good to have knowledge beyond what we know. I’ve lived in the East Coast all my life and I’m starting to beyond that.”
What are you hoping to accomplish in the future?
“To be honest, I don’t know where I’m going to be 5 years from now, not even 2 years from now. I don't know if I’m going to be in the same college or if I’m going to be in the same city. It is very open for me. In a way, it is also nerve-wracking because uncertainty is terrifying. Ultimately, my goal is to be financially stable no matter what I’m doing or what I’ve become. Hopefully, I will be able to support my parents and my future.”
If someone you knew were coming to visit, what would you tell them to expect?
“I would tell them to watch the American news, do a lot of research, and have people here who are able to receive you. Moving to any new environment can be very difficult, so I think preparing yourself with as much research as you can. Talking to people who have been here can be very helpful. They help you situate yourself, but definitely watch the news to see how the culture is like.”
What do you wish more people knew about immigrants?
“I wish people knew how traumatic it can be to leave everything behind and come to a completely new place, especially with a different language. I wish people knew that immigrants are trying their best to be part of this society. It can be very difficult and I wished people understood that. I’m fortunate enough because I didn't have to go through that, but I know people are close minded about immigrants coming here.”
Are you happy?
“More or less.”
Would you go back?
