A few months ago, M. Afemeku, a renowned french instructor of PDS, stood in front of our school to bravely share his powerful immigration story, one filled with lessons of patience and navigating uncertainty. When finding immigrants to interview, it was imperative to include him and learn more details regarding his story and views about this topic. Immigration was an experience of change for M. Afemeku as he developed a more tolerant and open mind. He also established a worldview that questions the legitimacy of what we deem to be the “correct” way to govern a country. His perspective makes me reevaluate how I analyze global affairs as he assesses our role, as the United States, in international relations. We tend to think America has been the “good guy” throughout history yet to the international community, this is simply not the case. Western powers like the US tend to act solely for their interest and M. Afemeku highlights this throughout his interview.
There is a story behind every decision to migrate. What was yours (or your parents)? Well I see two main reasons for my decision to migrate to the United States of America. First, I’ve always wanted to go abroad. That’s a dream I’ve had since I was a child. I just didn’t know when and how. I knew that was something I’d consider at some point in my life. I wanted to see how life was beyond the borders of my country of origin which is Togo. I guess things forced me to come up with that decision when there was some social political agitation in my country. So, I’m not going into details but it happened when the Togolese people wanted more freedom and to experience democracy because we only had one president that had been governing the country. The way elections ran it was clear that they were just a facade. In the beginning of the 1990’s is when the desire of the people became clear. When things became violent and people began to die, I made up my mind and took the next opportunity to leave.
What were your (or your parents) hopes for your new life here? My hope back then was to come to try to find any kind of a teaching job since I was a teacher back in Togo. I was open to any job to take care of my family. So I started at a bakery as a guy that mops the floor and cleans the dishes. I then became a teacher for french and german.
Why did you choose to come to this country instead of somewhere else? Well, believe it or not I had to look at certain things. I taught german so one would think I’d go to Germany. I believed so and sent applications to universities and foundations that would be able to send me to Germany. These opportunities didn’t work out for me. I found that going to the US was better and I didn’t want to waste that.
THE JOURNEY
Who did you come with and who did you leave behind? Did anyone come ahead of you? I came by myself. I left my wife behind along with my mother, siblings and friends. I had friends who were here. Most of them were students living in Philadelphia. They were the ones that told me “come stay with us.”
What was the most difficult part about leaving? Leaving is on one hand going without knowing necessarily knowing what life will be like for you. Leaving people behind without knowing when you will see them again, especially my wife. It puts everything in jeopardy because it would become a very long distance relationship.
What was your journey to this new country like? Well it was scary and exciting. Exciting because when you think you want to leave this country because things aren’t going well you’re excited. Scary because you keep asking yourself what is going to be like? It is a big unknown for you. You think you speak the language but communication remains difficult. People don’t understand and it’s very frustrating. At the same time you keep your hope alive and it’s going to get better. Your friends reassure you that they went through the same thing. Today is better than yesterday. It’s mixed emotions of hope, disappointment, fear, and excitement.
What was it like when you first arrived? Big Surprise. You quickly understand that life will be mean and you will have to start from scratch. There were moments where people thought I was stupid and didn’t understand my situation. You have to be patient and take it day by day. Some days are uplifting others are kind of hard.
What most surprised you? A lot of things. One of them is that I quickly realized Americans are just people. They have emotions. They are not superhuman. They carry the same characteristics as any human beings anywhere. You meet people who are smart, stupid, tolerant, understanding, impatient. When you put all these together you realize they are just like the rest of the world. I appreciate the directed generosity that I see in people. People that will help you when you face challenges. Random people will help you and then say goodbye.
What did you miss most about the country you came from? I think what I missed the most about Togo is not seeing my mom everyday. The rest of the big family as well. That kind of contact with people that I had beyond professional contact. I don’t think I have it here. That is something I missed.
Who was most helpful with getting you settled? Well, my settlement went incrementally. For example, my friends who lived in Philadelphia were a help at the beginning of my journey. So they said you need this and that and paperwork. When it continued I met people along the way who gave me different kinds of advice regarding the needs of certain moments.
Migration can be hard. Where did you find strength in difficult times? It depends on where I was. For example, at the Darrow School, a boarding school, one person I had was Ms. Stein who was a teacher. She would come once in a while. I mentioned her name at the assembly. After I left the Darrow school I would call her and talk to her. Five years later, I was able to bring my wife back and found strength with her. When I came to PDS, I met other people who helped me. Ms. Williams who was at the assembly, for example.
How do you think that migration has changed you? It changed me a lot even though I think I still keep a lot from who I was before. I think one of the things that this immigration has allowed me to learn or see or given me is an open mind. I think I have become more open and tolerant. I think in that regard it scares me that it’s changed me a lot as when i talk to my family in Togo I realize we don’t share the same values anymore. I don’t know if values is the word. Being in this country and learning about difference and diversity. What people want to hear, what they think, it has me reconsider how we think. Back home in Togo with multiple ethnic groups the immigration has me thinking that if I want to be accepted hear I should not carry prejudice regarding people of a tribe or ethnic group. For me thinking that we are better than a certain people, those kinds of ideas and the way of this country have me think differently.
HOPES & REALITIES
As time has passed, how does your experience compare to what you expected? In other words, did my experience miss my expectations? It seems to me that my expectations actually have changed or evolved in the sense that maybe before coming all I knew all I thought of was Hollywood. When I got here I realized oh just in Philadelphia you see some neighborhoods and wonder if this is really america. And you realize yes this is America too. You start thinking about what is america? That helps me think about my expectations my approach towards people. I will say I’m ok with where I am. I should say though that politically I am very disappointed. When you live in a system of dictatorship you think that I’m going to democracy and you get here and I’m not sure if the way I used to think about democracy is what I’m witnessing in this country. In that regard I’m disappointed. I see that in America there is a high level of corruption. If you were to tell me that the FDA was having secret meetings to change things I don’t see how that is different from poor policemen in my country who will take money for drivers. I don’t know if my comparison is ideal but the point is corruption is here like it is in my country, maybe not in the same way.
What have been your biggest challenges? My biggest challenge is probably is to stay true to myself. To make sure I don’t become somebody else. So I think about that constant struggle for me to make sure I remain honest. If I can make more money I would love that too.
Overall, how do you think you family is doing after the migration? I think we are struggling. Of course I’m over here with a set of values and I like to joke that when husband and wife get to america it seems that women take elevator and men take stairs in terms of adjusting to the new life. It’s probably not exactly right. The point is both struggle towards adjusting to the new life here. It might not be the same for europeans coming here but for us it’s a big jump. Now when you have kids that are born here and they have to be like the kids here. You see things and you say you don’t want them to go into this direction. This poses another challenge. Even though, you are doing ok it’s still a struggle. Somebody told me that it’s a struggle for every family even those that were born here. It’s not easy so I guess I should just say that.
Can you think of times when you have felt unwelcomed as an immigrant? What about when you have felt welcomed? Well it’s true that officially I was told I was welcome. But there are always instances where you wonder if the reaction of the person you have in front of you is genuine or not. I got questions like “how long have you been here? Do you like it here? Are you planning on going back?” These are ordinary questions but sometimes I feel like what is behind those questions. And then when I went to buy a spare part a person told me if I don’t want to buy he will sell it somebody else. I was with my american white friend and he told me it was because of the color of my skin. Those are situations that I think about sometimes. Once police filed a report with complete force against me after and accident and it is a fabricated story and I didn’t know what happened.
What are your thoughts on the wall proposed by the Trump Administration? So first of all this situation with the wall/immigration is complex. I don’t want to be simplistic in the way I approach it. Of course every country needs to protect its borders. Every country is doing not just the United States. It just happens that its complicated with the US. So on one hand I agree that there should be some border control because I’m not sure if there is any single country in this world that’s just like come and go. However, I guess the building of this wall seems to be just more or less an action that’s been taken to meet a political promise. The president said during his campaign that he wanted to build the wall so he did it to show his supporters that he can carry on his promise. That is one aspect that is complicated and hard to understand. How long should it be? Which part of the border needs a wall? What can be done or what is an alternative to the wall? Is the wall the most efficient thing to do? I’m lost in the wall debate. I know on one hand people don’t want the wall because it doesn’t make sense but also because it’s been used to get immigrants excited. It becomes confusing why we need a wall. Personally, I want to say the wall is awful the wall is this. I also want to pause and say is there a situation that is really why the wall is necessary? If we don’t build the wall what other options are there to protect the border. It is true that people are coming over and risking their lives to have better life like myself. But is there a limit? Or should that continue? It’s worth asking that question. Sadly I think the president from the beginning has been using a rhetoric that has been inhumane and offensive. So it’s hard to follow what’s he doing because it’s a mix of lies and exaggerations. I think there should be a solution to protect the border so that there is a certain level of control.
What are your thoughts on the family separation policy enacted by the Trump Administration? I think that’s one more reason the way this immigration policy is being carried out in the most inhumane way. At this point it seems like improvisation. It looks to me as if they have one idea to be tough but they didn’t have a detailed plan. They didn’t think about all the details regarding all the aspects that come with separating families. It becomes a cycle of mistakes and shows incompetence. I disagree with that.
How would you feel about the US intervening in Latin American countries and offering foreign services in hopes of decreasing unauthorized immigration to the US? I have many thoughts on some of the actions that superpowers have taken all over the world including Africa. I know the question is specifically about Latin America but allow me to go from the general to the particular. Because I think these super powers especially western countries, they don’t seem to care about the populations they care more about their interests. Whether they overthrow a government or implement a new policy it’s always about what will benefit them. When I mention Africa you see that all over the continent. With Latin America it’s the same principle. The United States has had its hands in so many places. It’s fair to say the US has contributed to the problems that are here. Even when we talk about gangs but when you look into those actions and things going on in Honduras for example. It’s because they expect some of the gang members back to those countries and the results is what we have now. They have no dealt with some of the criminals properly. As a result they have unstable countries with high crime rates. If they want to reduce the amount of people knocking at their door they have to see what kind of policy towards those countries can help those countries become stable. I think if they don’t people will continue to suffer.
ADVICE
If someone you knew were planning on coming to this country, what would you tell them to expect? Well it depends on how the person wants to come. If it’s by legal means, for example student visa, then I’d say take care of yourself and make sure you don’t get into trouble of any kind. The laws are changing and any small misdemeanor or mistake could hit you hard. If you come in illegally, I’ll tell you the road will be very very long for you. Expect that it won’t be easy and once you get here be careful.
What do you wish more people knew about immigrants? I want people to know that there is not a single country, maybe there are few, where there aren’t immigrants. So immigrants should just be treated as people who at some point came to an environment where other people were before them. The main idea is that they come and contribute. If an immigrant finds themselves in a situation by acting against the law they should be brought and charged according to the law. So everybody should just respect immigrants as human beings.
What are the 2 or 3 most important things that people could do to make the process of coming to a new country better? I think they should just have fair laws because all I hear is people should go back and stay in line. I think that premise is not fair because by thinking that way people think about one type of immigrant. Not everybody will be granted visas. Most of the people working in low level jobs, I don’t believe those people asked to go to the US. If the US could create a law to allow people to come their will be a better outcome.
Are you happy here? Yea I think I’m happy. I can say I’m happy because I don’t think I will ever have all the things I will want. So, it’s up to me to find happiness where I am.
Would you go back? That would be my plan. At this point I’m not sure. I want to share my experience with people there. I don’t know when the right time will be. The problem is we have young kids now. I want to wait for Berlicia to graduate college so that would be 8 years. I don’t know what my life will look like in 8 years. If I should go back I would need to be productive and avoid getting bored.
